SAD CONFESSION

I come today with a sad confession.  I am not dealing with this continuing pandemic very well. On top of it I am not dealing well with the direction our country seems to be going in.  There is so much hate. So much fear of others. So much distrust and on top of it all so much greed at the top. I pray I am wrong but I fear I am not.  As a result though I have my spurts of creativity and productivity, there are many days when I just don't feel like doing anything. It's like WHY BOTHER!

I need to get over this.  There still is much good in our world and hopefully in our country. All these thoughts make me feel very old.  Oh yeah, at 70 I guess I am real old. I don't understand a country where lies and bullying are acceptable by a large group. I don't understand name calling, though I should because I was called many names as a young teen. I don't understand the feeling of what I WANT IS WHAT IS IMORTANT!  It is my right to do what I want even if it puts someone else in harms way. I definitely do not understand conspiracy theories. I feel so out of what seems today to be the normal way.

Maybe this all just needs to be chalked up to my being alone, on my own, in my home for over two months now.  My companion is my TV and with that the news. NOT GOOD! I try reading and listening to music, but  can only do that so much. My ADD kicks in big time.  I need to get back to sewing, but since I am done making the masks I was asked for I don't know what I am sewing for.  I guess being alone at home right now I am having a crisis of what am I here for while the world is suffering.

Enough!  Tomorrow WILL be a better day.  It has to be.  I can't go on like this. One good thing I guess is I have rediscovered that I can cook.  I hate doing it for myself, but I can do it and have committed to two real meals a week. Tonight it was spareribs.  Yes they were yummy and they came with leftovers for tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a sewing project complete to show. I do have things I would like to do. I just need the incentive. I need to get beyond the feeling I am just existing and not living.

AND IT GOES ON.....

T

Things have been slowing down in my life.  I think I am getting real close to reaching my limit on my alone time.  I've now been working on embroidery projects that I have no idea what I will do with,  IT has become sewing just to have something to do.  IT worked for a while but know it seems to becoming rather pointless. I am making things I ave no idea whatsoever I will do with. Here are a lot of the blocks I have embroidered.  I need to do something with them.  The best I can come up with is I will create a Corona wall in my house with the small wall-hangings I've made during this time.

Actually I am working on some blocks that could end up as a baby gift.  That is if I ever need a baby gift.  It would be a small quilt called Fairy Blocks.  Each block relates to a fairy tale. Here is one of those blocks.

 I really like them as they have the look of hand embroidered blocks. I will post a picture here of the quilt if and when I get it finished.

What else is going on here?  Well today Florida went over the 50,000 make of Covid cases.  As a state we are now open. Yet the casers keep going up each day. I can barely wait to get back out into the world. But I won't yet. I am not yet comfortable with what is going on. Florida seems to be not reporting cases in a reliable manner. At this point all I can say is who knows. As hard as it is becoming I will wait. I may be an old lady, but I am not yet willing to put myself at risk of checking out on this life at any time soon. I need to have more time with my kids.  We need to make up the time we missed in April. God willing we will.

It's Hard

Yes it's hard to think of things and to post on a regular basis.
Time seems to have no meaning at the moment. At least for me that seems to be reality. I wish I could understand how time passes. When I wake up I have to go through a serious of events and passings to let me know  what day it is. When "Stay at Home" rules take event time seems to no longer have any meaning. 
That said,  what have I been doing? PUZZLES!!!! I had to clean off my kitchen table and make room for puzzles.  This is my second once and it shows different places around the DC area. The unique thing about this puzzle is that on the back of each piece is a fact about the area.  Easy but fun!

What else have I been doing?  I can not lie, The last week has been a challenge. I am feeling very alone. I know there are people out there who care for me, and I care for and love them, BUT I have no real contact with them..  I want a hug! I need a touch! Physically I am alone, and I am shrinking into a nothingness because of it. For those of you who have even one other person in your space give thanks for that person. You have a contact with humanity other than that of virtual reality. My mind can only play so many games to think that it has contact with others. 

So I am going on to put together another puzzle and plan more sewing projects. When will this end? Or will this be the prison I will find myself in the rest of my life?

HELLO!

It's been a while, two weeks.  I have thought about coming by and posting but just haven't been able to actually get here.  Life has been a growing challenge the last two weeks. I don't even know how to put into words what I have been thinking or feeling. As is usual with me my thoughts and emotions bounce around like a ping pong ball.  They seem to change with every passing hour. I'm content to be alone/ I hate being alone and crave human and personal interaction.  I have so much I want to do/ I just can't seem to do it. I love sewing/ I hate my sewing machine.  I want to go spend some money/I am very happy that I haven't been spending money.  I really want some bourbon/I don't want to drink.  I am a mass of contradictions these days and it is driving me crazy.  I just don't see the point of any of it anymore.  Enough said.

I have been accomplishing a few things.  I've been sewing and finished two projects.  Though I have made about 20 more masks since last post I've spent most of my sewing time on things I have wanted to do. I finished the little wall hanging with the painted blocks. I am very happy with how it turned out.  I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what sashing and border fabric I wanted to use. Or whether I even wanted to use sashing.  With the help and advice of some friends on Facebook this is what I ended up with.  I think it is a cute and happy little wall hanging.

The other project I finished was another small wall-hanging in honor of Cinco d' Mayo. It's bright and colorful and also I think very happy.  The designs are taken from traditional Mexican fabrics called Otomi. I love the brightness and almost whimsical nature of these designs.

 

I have spent some time going through the thousands of embroidery designs I have accumulated from my membership in Anita Goodesigns All Access Club.  It's time to begin using some of them.  I have a few more waiting in the wings to be done. Stay tuned!

IT MUST BE SUNDAY

Yes, it must be Sunday, because I worshiped on line this morning via Facebook.  Yes, it is an new world at the moment.  I must admit though it's kind of nice to be able to go to church before I even get out of bed in the morning. Much more cozy that most church chairs or pews. 

After church it was time for a cup of tea and to read the newspaper. Then get into activities of another day.  Work on the computer, do a Sudoku puzzle, make lunch (I don't do breakfast) and then plan out the rest of the day.

I actually started and finished a project I've been thinking about for a while.  Coloring on fabric.

About six months ago I purchased Derwent Inktense Pencils. I've played around with them a bit but not been too happy with the results. Last week I watched a YouTube video on using them on fabric and discovered that I shouldn't have been using water with them but rather Textile Medium. So I decided to give them another try.  I've been thinking for some time that it would be fun to stitch out a red work embroidery design and then color it in.  That is what I did.  I found an Anita Goodesign pattern called Baltimore Album and chose a few of the blocks to stitch out. This is the design I started with.  I stitched it with black embroidery thread and did place some batting behind the background fabric.
Here is my beginning of coloring. I started with the leaves because I thought the would be the easiest to deal with.  I wasn't sure how I would handle shading so it didn't look flat, but decided not to worry about it and just jump in and see what the result was.  I started with coloring the whole leave with a very light green, then put down a little bit of a darker green at the bottom and finally added just a touch of very dark green at the bottom of the leaf. Before going over everything with a stiff paint brush dipped into a tiny bit of textile medium the look is very pale and streaked.  You can see all the pencil strokes.


See the rose at the right.  It certainly doesn't look like much. Below is what it looks like after blending it with the textile medium.  It is much brighter and vibrant. I am very pleased with how my shading has turned out.  I think I am hooked on this. I plan to do two more blocks and then turn them into a wall hanging.







 Below is the block that is finished as far as the painting goes. I still  have it in the embroidery hoop and tomorrow will put it back into the machine and using My Design Center create some stippling to quilt around the flowers.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YESTERDAY?

The answer is I have no idea. Where did yesterday go? I know I did finish another 4 masks and delivered them to the folks that asked for them. Other than that I don't remember what I did. Oh wait....I did take part in a ZOOM meeting with friends from several of my sewing and embroidery groups. It was fantastic to see those friends and see what all they have been doing. I think it will become a weekly meeting. Gives me some incentive to keep creating. 

Creating....did I do anything today???  Sadly no. I am running my dishwasher....I guess that's not very creative. It was a rough morning.  Once again at 5am weather radio went off warning about severe thunderstorms moving into my area. Yeah they were pretty bad and it seemed the radio went off every 30 minutes or so till 7am. At that point I feel asleep again and didn't wake up till 11:30. When I get up that late it seems nothing really gets done. Oh well tomorrow is another day.  Hopefully one with a calmer start.

IT'S BEEN AWHILE!

I haven't been here for five days.  I guess that's because not has been happening the last five days. How many days in a row can I talk about making masks?  Yep, still making them. Fortunately not in the quantity I had been. Now I do between 2 and 6 a day. I keep trying to get a ready made stack of them for future requests, but requests of 2 or 3 a day keep the shelf empty. I've worked a bit on my scrap quilt from the strips left over from the masks. Sadly I mostly seem to fritter the day away on the computer. 

I'm basically okay with being home.  I was however surprised on how excited I was when a friend came by with her husband, also a friend, to drop off some elastic for more masks. It felt like Christmas even though we only talked with her outside my lanai and myself inside it on the opposite side where she was.  

Oh, a good side benefit of this "stay at home" period is that I've video chatted with my kids three times now in the last three weeks. It's wonderful to see them when we talk even if half the time I feel like I look like a train wreck. 

I am a bit concerned that the powers that be are planning on beginning to reopen Village activities in a week and a half.  Personally I have decided that I will be staying home through at least the end of  May unless something dramatic happens.  Funny thing is the politicians are all pushing for businesses to reopen.  The health care experts are against it.  I just saw a poll that said an overwhelming portion of the population, Democrats and Republicans, feel it is too early to reopen things.  The politicians don't seem to care though.  They seem to be more worried about our economy than lives and public health. 

So those are my thought as of tonight. I have more, but I have learned that it is best I keep them to myself or at least only express them around like minded thinkers or the remaining few that still like a good discussion about what is going on in the world, our country, state and community.  To many don't want to discuss. They just seem to want to say you are wrong and don't know what you are talking about. Period--End of Discussion. So I will keep them out of here.

Tomorrow I am going to have my first experience with a Zoom meeting.  Not sure how that works but it will be nice to spend some time with sewing and crafting friends even if its over the computer. 

After that maybe some sewing that will result in a project I can show here, 

Nite!